A post for 2017

...since they seem fewer and farther between these days. 

"The New Year, like dawn, comes ringing with promise and a cool breeze rises with the sun bringing with it the inevitability of both burden and promise. But this new beginning cannot come fast enough, a keen excuse to leave everything behind that has had my attention for far too long. Every over-thought thought, every under-loved love and to give new priority to everything I almost lost but was lucky enough to be given a second chance." - 12.6.2016


Something I wrote when the birth of a new year was far enough away that its hope and promise was endless, and here I sit three days into it knowing that it's caught me red handed. A million well-intended promises to myself and those around me only to find myself staring at an empty fridge -- eating day old carbs -- and thinking of every way I could have prepared better for this.

But I have to stop, and think, and say to myself that pressure is too much and too burdensome, and for what purpose?

Forgive the convolution for a moment, but what is a New Year except for a new day with a lot more pressure to change? How many thousands of days have we procrastinated, only to feel the impending weight of a new year after 365 days that don't feel different enough?

So my fridge is empty save a partial six-pack of beer, a half-empty bottle of wine, coffee creamer, various condiments and old cilantro. The fresh fruits and veggies can wait for next payday and the world won't crumble beneath my feet until next year comes along to mend it. The gym will still be there in a couple of weeks when the resolutioners have started sleeping in again. And the people I love will still be there this time next year if I continue to focus -- as I have every day before the task of a New Year was at hand -- on loving and forgiving and trying again every day in private. Because life is a little sweeter without the grand display of it all, I'm learning.